Browse by Topic

NVC Resources on Feelings

Search Terms:

Advanced Search

Select Media Type, Click Search

Becoming Regenerative

I am feeling deeply inspired by the regeneration movement. Paul Hawken, an environmental activist for many decades and one the leading voices in this movement, has written a new book called Regeneration: Ending the Climate Crisis in One Generation. The movement as I understand it is about not only living sustainably on the planet but also healing the planet from the tremendous damage we humans...
Practice Relationship Repair - Turning Connection into Clear Agreements

When you have found mutual care and connection regarding each other’s feelings and needs, you can begin brainstorming and negotiating requests to help care for needs in a future similar situation. You know you are ready for this step when you experience a sense of mutual care and respect, and have hope regarding a new way forward. Here are some important things to remember about committing to...
Mediating with a Group

Trainer Tip "I find the great thing in this world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving." —Goethe When you mediate a group conflict, the principles of listening for needs are the same as with one-on-one conflicts. Start the mediation by telling everyone that the group will not begin looking at strategies until everyone’s needs have been heard. Dedicate the first...
Staying Present in the Face of Conflict

Trainer Tip Each time any one of us is willing to take a foray into the land of conflict with an intention to create connection, we are taking a stand for co-operation, and for creating the awareness of our interdependence and honoring needs - not just my needs, not just your needs but the needs that enable all of us to not only survive, but to flourish in the world. In order for us to stick...
It Takes a Community to Raise a Relationship

It Takes a Community to Raise a Relationship "For thousands of years we have gathered in a circle around fires, around bodies, around altars because we can't do this alone." —Wayne Muller Thirty-four of us are packed into infinite darkness and penetrating heat. Water is generously poured over red hot rocks and the steam pushes me deeper into my hidden places. This is the third and hottest of...
Expressing Appreciation In A Life-Serving Way

Trainer Tip The fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose. —Hada Bejar “You are such a good girl.” “You are great.” “You did a good job on that project.” These statements are an attempt to express appreciation, but they convey that the speaker is in a position to judge the other person. This may sound extreme, but whenever we judge someone, we demonstrate that we sit in judgment. A...
Tips for the Road Series Tip 12

For many, the word “need” is associated with lack, neediness, and scarcity. These associations are the opposite of the meaning of needs in Nonviolent Communication (NVC). In NVC, needs are the motivational energy of our innate wholeness and desire to grow, like the energy of a plant pushing it up through the soil and toward the sun. The conditioning most of us grew up with has tricked us into...
Choosing Your Response

Trainer Tip If a man speaks or acts with pure thought, happiness follows him like a shadow that never leaves him. —Buddha We have four choices of how to respond to someone, even when they say things that are hard to hear. If someone says to you, “You shouldn’t have done that, it was inappropriate,” consider your four options. The first one is to blame the speaker. “What do you know about what’s...
It’s All About Please and Thank You

Trainer Tip "We want facts to fit the preconceptions. When they don’t, it is easier to ignore the facts than to change the preconceptions" —Jessamyn West If I told you that every communication is either a please or a thank you, would you believe me? This was an enormous revelation to me. Think about the please behind a neighbor’s words when he says, “What will it take for you to keep your...
Creating Real Challenges—Are you Game?

A challenge is an expansion of making a clear, positive doable request — and, when given, the person feels deeply seen by the challenger. A challenge isn't just about getting someone to take action on something important to them; it's a fierce form of empathy that supports people in connecting with their life force, and integrates it into their lives with action. A real challenge is tied to the...