Browse by Topic

NVC Resources on Feelings

Search Terms:

Advanced Search

Select Media Type, Click Search

Losing Our Judgments

Trainer Tip Do not consider painful what is good for you. — Euripides Have you ever noticed how one minute something can seem so utterly painful you’re sure it must be bad, then, a short time later, the most amazing results happen, so then you think it’s good? This has happened to me countless times. Consider the time my car died when my finances were at an all-time low. That was bad, I...
Valuing Everyone’s Needs

Trainer Tip It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop. —Confucius A friend of mine called to tell me that her husband had left her. He had spent the last couple of years wrestling with his feelings about their marriage. He never discussed his discontent with her. In fact, she first heard of his unhappiness when he was leaving her. She was in shock and devastated. My...
Connect Before Correct

Ask the Trainer Dear Trainer, I have a question which has been running through my mind for some days now. It was sparked off in our NVC weekly practice group. I was sitting there trying to connect to my reasons for wanting to give empathy to a person who was telling us about some very painful feeling she was having, without connecting to her needs. I recalled hearing Marshall say something like...
The Needs Underneath a Need for Fairness

Ask the Trainer Dear Trainer, I'm practicing with "transforming the pain of unmet needs into the beauty of the need." In identifying my unmet needs, I come up with "fairness." However, fairness isn't on the needs list! I'm wondering what needs might be underneath "fairness." Here is my process so far: Observation: I asked Jesse to help enter data sheets, and he spent the last twenty minutes...
Facilitating Connection

Expressing ourselves honestly is sometimes scary because we can't predict where the conversation will go after we've made ourselves vulnerable. This recording will demonstrate how the power of our honesty is enhanced by ending on a clear and present request. Doing so supports self-connection because we know what we want before we open our mouth, and also supports connection with the other...
An Introduction to Self-Compassion

Access this complete 10 session course In this course recording, discover a new level of self-acceptance that can lead to profound emotional healing and a deeper spiritual presence. The heart of self-compassion is coming to an inner knowing of how we can regard ourselves with complete and total allowing. By relaxing the part of us that feels that we so desperately need to improve ourselves, we...
When Hearing A No

Trainer Tip Do not weep; do not wax indignant. Understand. —Baruch Spinoza Persisting is when we actively attempt to meet our needs by continuing to connect with another person. Demanding is when we insist that someone do something, or else there will be negative repercussions. Say you ask your teenage son to mow the lawn this afternoon, and he says: “Oh Mom! I wanted to play ball with the...
Working with a Difficult Counseling Situation

Clinical psychologist, Robert Gonzales, Ph.D., uses an open dialogue with a practitioner to explore effective, compassionate methods to handle a volatile counseling situation, particularly when the physical or emotional wellbeing of the patient is at risk. Mental health practitioners, mediators and conflict resolution professionals alike will find powerful takeaways from this real-world...
Are You Living Your True Potential?

Do you ever find yourself in the same emotional landscape over and over again? Okay, sure, the scenery and faces around you might be different, but the way you feel – a tangible sense of dissatisfaction – seems all too familiar. Could it be Déjà vu? Karma? A result of your childhood? Isn’t it time to move beyond your inner judgments and start living your best life? How can we live up to our...
The Importance of Making Requests

Trainer Tip What would make you happy? It’s a simple question, but one with profound consequences. Asking and answering that question, then acting on it, is often our path—a path that will lead to the next step, a path that is in our best interest. —Melody Beattie Have you ever waited in a restaurant for a friend who finally shows up a half hour later than you agreed? When she walks in, you may...