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NVC Resources on Feelings

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Mediating Conflicts

Trainer Tip "Is it not by love alone that we succeed in penetrating the very essence of a being?" —Igor Stravinsky When mediating conflicts using Nonviolent Communication, I focus on establishing a quality of connection that involves trust and a sincere desire to resolve the situation peacefully. This involves listening for the needs that each person is trying to meet. I reflect back to them...
Meeting Our Needs

Trainer Tip In blocking off what hurts us, we think we are walling ourselves off from pain. But in the long run, the wall, which prevents growth, hurts us more than the pain, which if we will only bear it, soon passes over us . . .Walls remain. —Alice Walker Discovering the unmet needs that drive our feelings is only part of the solution. The other part is to understand what it will take to...
Getting Our Need for Love Met

Trainer Tip Life is the first gift, love is the second, and understanding the third. —Marge Piercy “I just want you to love me.” How many of us have either heard this or said it to someone else? How would it look if your need for love was met? Would someone say the words, “I love you”? Would they buy you flowers weekly, or spend time listening to you talk about your day, or is it a combination...
Overcoming Insecurity in Friendships

Trainer Tip "Tell me who admires you and loves you, and I will tell you who you are." —Charles Augustin Sainte-Beauve Do you ever wonder why a person you enjoy spending time with is attracted to you? Do you wonder if he really likes you? Many of us don’t know the impact we have on other people. Sometimes, with close friends and family, it is clear to us why people value having us in their...
Mindfulness

Trainer Tip A humble knowledge of one’s self is a surer road to God than a deep searching of the sciences. —Thomas à Kempis What do you feel and need right now? Take a moment to ponder this. Mindfulness of being is the foundation of Compassionate Communication. That means that we try to stay present in each moment, focusing on what is happening right now. Thich Nhat Hanh, a Buddhist scholar,...
Sexual Expression

In Mindful Compassionate Dialogue, discerning the difference between a universal need and a strategy to meet that need can mean the difference between staying stuck or getting unstuck in a conflict. Let's look at a simple example. If you believe your need for peace is the same as time alone, you can only meet your need for peace if you get alone time. Getting regular alone time is a popular...
Staying Self-Connected in a Challenging Dialogue

When we're judging we're less able to access what we care about and what we could do about the situation. Instead, create more internal space, self connection and agency starting with connecting to your feelings and needs; then feel your grief or disappointment; followed by getting curious about the other party's needs and context -- and then based on collective needs and the long term effects...
Mourning

In this session Jim and Jori Manske facilitate the exploration of the topic of Mourning using the three modes of NVC: self-empathy, honesty and empathic presence. Using an array of tools and exercises such as metaphors, somatic experience, connecting with needs, and breathing, Jim and Jori lead the group in a mourning practice and answer participants's questions such as what does mourning mean?...
Reaching Critical Mass

This week as the U.S. population continues to be dangerously divided on who won the presidential election, and the surging pandemic takes its devastating toll, I have been more deeply than ever contemplating the question, how can empathic communication go further out into the world to help people and the planet? What came first were the words “critical mass,” in the sense of a tipping point. I...
NVC as Spiritual Practice

Access this complete 4 session course This 4 session course recording offers practices while exploring the relationship between the core elements of NVC and universal spiritual principles. A primary template for the class is using the four NVC components of Observation, Feeling, Need, and Request to support meditative presence and awareness, in conjunction with four universal spiritual...