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NVC Resources on Connection

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  1. The Nature of Your Reactions

    The Nature of Your Reactions

    Robert Gonzales

    Video · 3 minutes · 04/22/2022

    Responding to your own reactivity is an inside job. Robert reveals how your reactions are often a secondary reaction to a triggering stimulus, and that accepting responsibility for your reactions can lead to less blame and more inner peace.

  2. Recognize and Manage Reactivity About Your Cause

    Recognize and Manage Reactivity About Your Cause

    Elia Paz

    Practice Exercises · 3 - 5 minutes · 05/10/2022

    When we care about our cause and want to mitigate disaster, we may become reactive. However, transformation comes through connection, rather than convincing, judging, criticising, controlling, and making demands of others. To inspire change, get curious about how they relate to the topic – and get support for yourself elsewhere to process grief, become more present and compassionate, speak self-responsibly, and make requests.

  3. Create Choiceful Listening

    Create Choiceful Listening

    Elia Paz

    Practice Exercises · 2 - 3 minutes · 2/28/2023

    Often, honoring someone’s choice supports more connection. Thus, checking in with someone’s choice to listen or not (offering autonomy) sets the stage for being heard more fully. On the other hand, when someone has the perception that you are talking to them without considering their choice, resentful listening might result. Here are ways to mindfully check in about choiceful listening before starting a conversation.

  4. Parenting Series: Listening for the Needs

    Parenting Series: Listening for the Needs

    Inbal Kashtan

    Video · 16 minutes · 07/28/2010

    See how to better connect with children’s needs, especially when they resist or react to requests.

  5. Roxy Manning discusses the connection between the challenges parents face with their children and the qualities they want them to develop. She highlights the importance of aligning actions with desired outcomes, using the example that if parents value independence, they should encourage choice rather than demanding compliance. She encourages parents to consider the long-term impact of their parenting choices on shaping their children's future behavior.

  6. The human needs that we all share are the foundation of the Nonviolent Communication (NVC) process because it is in connecting to needs that we find inner freedom, empowerment and compassion.

  7. In a world facing crisis and deep divides, there's a need for empathic community and connection. Here we reflect upon the importance of empathy, consciousness, and building a sense of community to address complex challenges and promote well-being. Slowing down, engaging in empathic conversations, and committing to a practice of empathy and mindfulness could be essential for personal and societal transformation.
  8. Secure Differentiation

    Secure Differentiation

    Elia Paz

    Articles · 4 - 6 minutes · 6/25/2019

    Differentiation is being who you are in the presence of who they are. Its a process of connecting to and honoring your own experience, acting in integrity with your values, and engaging in collaboration with others to meet needs. If you're happier when you are not in an intimate relationship you may have developed your individuality but likely have difficulty with differentiation. Learn core skills and behaviors that support differentiation.

  9. The Power of Making Requests

    The Power of Making Requests

    Mary Mackenzie

    Video · 10 minutes · 10/05/2025

    Mary Mackenzie shares how making requests in NVC builds honesty, trust, and deeper connection.
  10. If we are in the dominant group, intervening to prevent violence or an "ouch" is a way to ally with marginalized folks. We can intervene to meet their needs, rather than our own. In other words, we can intervene without putting our experience at center stage. To that end, here are six ways to ask if an intervention is welcome.

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