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NVC Resources on Feelings

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How To Know If Someone Has Been Heard

Trainer Tip God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. —Psalms 46:1 Often people ask me how they can tell if the other person has been heard. Many times you can feel a release of tension in your own body. Other times you may notice that the other person responds in a calm tone with few words, such as “Yeah” or “Uh huh.” Two minutes before, he may have had a lot more to say...
Serenity is a Choice

Trainer Tip Our faith must be alive, always growing, like a tree. —Thich Nhat Hanh Serenity is a state of being and a universal need that is peaceful, tranquil, and clear. We can be serene even in a catastrophe, or when life is challenging, or when we are scared, hurt, angry, or sad. This happens when we are able to connect to what we value most, and to act in harmony with those values. In...
How to Create Your Own Teaching Activities

Listen as Mary Mackenzie shares an eight step path to create your own NVC learning activities, based on your own NVC learning experience. In this session, Mary uses the value of requests and observations as teaching examples. 8 Easy Steps for Developing Teaching Activities Opening premise: Borrowing teaching exercises from other people can be fun and easy. However, when we develop our own...
Different Types of Requests

Ask the Trainer Dear Trainer, I have heard of different types of requests from listening to various trainers, such as requests for connection, for presence, for action, for clarity, for information and so on. I am finding this list of requests helpful in connecting my needs to the actions that might meet them. Could you share a list of requests, with examples of each, and a possible strategy...
All in

Access this complete 7 session course When you consider making the full-on commitment to living nonviolently, do you … Worry that in some situations you will compromise your own needs? Wonder if it's even possible? Struggle to trust yourself to have what it takes? I used to feel that way too. Now, after some years of being on this path, I feel more able to face life, to trust myself to work out...
Forgiving Ourselves

Trainer Tip I have never seen a person grow or change in a constructive direction when motivated by guilt, shame, and/or hate. —William Goldberg Every single time you say or do something, you are trying to meet a need. Here’s an example. You’re on the phone with a friend who has called you at breakfast time, and your cereal is getting mushier by the second. With impatience in your voice, you...
Taking the First Step

Trainer Tip "Love is the recognition of Oneness, of knowing yourself as other. The Oneness is love." —Eckhart Tolle Sometimes I hear people say things like, “Why does it always have to be me who takes the first step?” It can feel overwhelming when we put effort into something but other people don’t participate as much as we’d like. I see this most often in couples and colleagues. One person in...
Life is a Cabaret!

Trainer Tip The problems that exist in the world today cannot be solved by the level of thinking that created them. —Albert Einstein Don’t do anything that isn’t play. Learn to make clear choices, and only do those things that bring you satisfaction. Sound impossible? The best way I have found to bring joy into my life is to connect to the reasons I do things. It may seem hard to imagine much...
Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic Motivation

Trainer Tip When we fear punishment, we focus on consequences, not on our own values. —Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D. Are you motivated by fear of punishment or negative consequences? Or are you motivated by a true inner desire? Research shows that long-lasting, permanent change comes when people have an intrinsic desire to change. Extrinsic motivation is temporary and often only lasts while one...
Transforming Power Relations

Nonviolent Communication provides specific tools to empower ourselves and others to live more in line with our values and deeper needs. When we do that, we become more effective in relating to ourselves, other faculty, and staff, and we can contribute more to students’ ability to feel connected and energized. “NVC is wonderful and I can see how much it can enhance my personal life,” said...